Home is where the heart is

Ed. Note: More often than not, I think of great things to write about when I am either lying in bed or driving home from work. Neither are exactly optimal opportunities to write. Tonight, I am sacrificing sleep to get this down. I've left you hanging long enough, after all. ~Kim

They say home is where the heart is, but what happens when the heart is in two places? I think the phenomenon starts in college. You are regularly traveling back and forth between your childhood home (or in some cases the brand new house your parents move into while you are away) and the city that would become your home for four years. You catch yourself talking about when you need to "go home," meaning your college dorm/apartment, while you are "at home." Usually then, your words get all jumbled together as you try to backtrack and reword what you just said, afraid your mom heard. And although you do truly think of the place where your family is as "home," you can't help but feel a connection and some security in returning to your college home.

The same goes for post-college life, away from "home." You are a functioning member of society now, living in some cases cities or states away from where you first came. You go to work, you come home and check the mail, which for the first time will all be for you, you make yourself dinner. You are home. You travel and can't wait to just be home again. Between visiting people, traveling for work and making trips "home," you find yourself in need of a weekend at home.

Once again, you are faced with the conundrum of where home truly is. Is home the place you sleep every night, keep most of your belongings, and pay too much a month to occupy? Or, is home where the heart, or more specifically the past and your family ties are? Is home not a tangible destination at all? Isn't that, after all, exactly what the phrase "home is where the heart is" means? That is exactly the problem, though; can you heart really be in two places?

My answer is yes. I always thought it was ridiculous on T.V. shows how people would say their friends were their family. However, when you live away from "home," you fill that void with close friends. You haven't replaced your family, and probably never really could. You have just filled the space. You've made connections to the people and places around you to make it feel like home, and somewhere along the way it actually becomes home. So why not have two homes? It really is the best of both worlds. You are happy to go back home, but when you leave you are happy to come home again.

That twinge of guilt about calling the other place home in front of your mom will never go away though, I'm sure of it.